My Confession.

I am only 16 years old, yes, just recently turned 16 and I am here today writing in my blog, a confession. And that confession is to a guy that I really really REALLY like. And he will never know about it.

There's this boy who's in my class. And he's done something bad. He stole my heart and won't give it back. Who's this boy? His name is Makino Keigo. Yes, I've finally said it. I never wanted to admit it when they all ask if I like him. They all question our relationship, but we never comment on it and just look away. But I will be the first to admit it, I have fallen for Makino Keigo.

Just shut up, I don't want to hear all the leaving in 2 months crappp. I'm just following my instinct here. Like seriously, my heart really really REALLY aches. It aches and beats too loud when I'm by him. Without looking, I can tell who's standing next to me because my heart beats fast. I can feel him coming to his seat that is seated next to mine without looking up. WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS ALL MEAN? It's crazy I know, but come on!

But like I said, he would probably never know. So that's why I'm saying it here. I won't tell him because of people in America, but if he's the one to tell then I won't hesistate to say yes. Sorry...

The Stupid Influenza & midterms

Like, its called 'H1N1' now, its like going around my school. Like out of 12 2nd years classes, 4 classes had to be close because of it. Dude I think its crazy. My friend has the influenza but to be able to get our class to be close like 3 people has to have it. I don't want our class to get close though. I actually look forward to going to school everyday so it better not close. So besides that happening, like I got my midterms back. I did pretty okay if I say so myself. Man, I studied my butt off for these midterms. I never studied so much in my life. :O True story, true story. And like yeahh, but I didn't studied for English which I should have because I got 15 out of 100 points. I know, sad right? My classmates were like "Aren't you American? xD" Well, first of all, I couldn't really understand the questions but I could sort of read it and understand it BUT it was because the time. Like the time went by soooo fast! I'm like only half way done and the bell rang and I'm like "NOO!! I'M NOT FINISH!" And my stupid friend only smirked and took and collected my paper to give it to the teacher. TT_TT *sigh It was worser than my other English exam...

I fall easily.

So someone catch me.
I just wish it wasn't you though baka...
You make me feel stupid, be stupid, be a baka like you.
Just close your eyes and pretend you didn't see anything. Pretend you didn't see that pain I hid.
Just keep smiling that stupid, dorky smile of yours.
If it wasn't because I trusted you so much, I wouldn't have told you, but I did. And now you're gone. And I want you back now. I want the old baka back. That cheesy laugh of yours. I want you to hit me in the head when I don't listen or don't know when to shut up. I want you to tease me again. I want you to be my friend again. That's all I want right now...

I wish that baka could read this blog and understand how much life has become boring without him teasing me.

ばか= BAKA= idiot

My Dream

Since I guess this month's topic is like talking about your future. Man, I just can't believe it. Just next year my classmates are going to be 3rd years. And for people who don't know, Japan's high school system has only 3 years. That's because Junior high has 3 also. Get the point? :cD Ok, anyways, so like yeah, everybody's already planning. And I'm like sad because everybody's going seperate ways and yes, I do plan to see them again in the future. Its going to be hard trying to find them. :( SO one of my classmates asked me what I wanted to do when I grow up, I immediately said an actress/ song writer. And immediately everyone and I mean EVERYONE starts bursting out laughing. I'm like why are you laughing? And then one of my classmate told me that I should consider being a comedian. Wow, I'm that funny? And they were like thats all they could see me as. xS And like the other day I went to my friend's house and I was talking to her host parents and they asked me what I wanted to be, I immediately answered actress of course and yeah, they laughed hard too and said the same thing what my classmates said that I should be a comedian. So FINE I shall consider it. I should be a comedian in Japan because it looks like Japan's all about comedy. Like most of the TV shows are full of comedy shows. And they are funny! I watch it everyday. <3

What he said.

It was after school but we had this assembly about Universities and colleges. Just giving us information. Well me, since I don't really have to listen because I don't know if I plan to go to college in Japan or not. Haven 't decided yet. So like we were sitting down. My guy friend was sitting next to me. I had paper and was writing some questions down showing it to him, me wanting to know what he wanted to do in the future. Here's how are conversation went:

Me: "何やりたいの？”　= "What do you want to do?"
Him: [he wrote it all in English.] "A Police Officer."
Me: "何で？" = "Why?"
Him: "To save people. xD"
Me: "どこいきたいの？" = "Where do you want to go?"
Him: "Tokyo University."
Me: "何で？"
Him: "To save the world."

And then I start to laugh loud, making people turn heads. ;p I don't know. I just found it funny, but i think its a good dream. The best I ever heard. Haha

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So I would like to start this blog again. Don't want to sum up anything. Too annoying. I'm just going to start it from here. :D

Having second thoughts.

Maybe I shouldn't have came to Japan and just waited to come to South Korea.

I'm feeling stupid right now...*sigh*

Questions, reasons, and thoughts that confuses me.

Should I? I'm not ready, but I think I should. Everything's my fault in the first place. I should fix it. That's the only way right?

Following you're instincts, sometimes, makes things difficult, I think.